Last Sunday, as I stepped into the sanctuary, I was met with something that sparked deep reflection.
A woman, probably in her 40s, was sitting quietly near the front. Her arms and neck were covered in tattoos, and she had multiple piercings. It wasn’t something I was used to seeing in church.
I was raised with the belief that places of worship required modesty—not just in behavior, but in how one dressed. We were taught that reverence was reflected in neat, conservative clothing. So I’ll admit, her appearance caught me off guard. It didn’t align with what I was taught to expect in a sacred space.
But then I found myself wondering:
Are those old expectations still relevant?
Rethinking the “Right” Way to Dress for Church
As I sat through the service, my mind kept drifting back to the woman. I wasn’t upset—just… challenged. Afterward, I gently mentioned to her that her look seemed a bit unconventional for church. She responded calmly but firmly:
“How I look isn’t your concern.”
Her words struck me—not with offense, but with clarity. Was my discomfort really about her appearance? Or was it about my assumptions?
That one encounter opened the door for me to question something deeper:
Had I been holding onto rigid views about what someone should look like to belong in church?
Should Appearance Matter in Places of Worship?
For many of us, church attire has long followed an unwritten dress code: dresses, suits, pressed shirts, and nothing that draws too much attention. These standards were taught as signs of respect.
But over time, cultural norms have shifted. Personal expression—through fashion, tattoos, or piercings—is increasingly seen as normal and meaningful, not disrespectful. So where does that leave traditional expectations?
Is reverence really about what someone wears—or is it about their intentions, their heart, their reasons for coming to worship?
From Judgment to Compassion
It’s easy to form opinions based on appearances. But when we focus too much on the outside, we risk overlooking what matters most.
That woman’s tattoos? They could represent her story, her past, her pain, or even her faith. Her piercings? They might hold deep meaning. Without asking, without listening, I’d never know. And by judging her, I could miss out on the richness of her journey—and the sincerity of her worship.
Honoring Both Tradition and Individuality
This doesn’t mean tradition has no place. Many still find value in dressing modestly for church—it’s how they express reverence and honor the sacredness of the space. And that’s valid, too.
But the challenge is to hold both truths at once:
- That personal expression is not a sign of irreverence
- And that traditional dress can still carry deep meaning
It’s not about choosing one over the other. It’s about making space for both.
Building a Culture of Mutual Respect
Rather than enforcing rules or silently judging, churches might benefit from promoting a culture of mutual respect. Invite people to come as they are—but also encourage mindfulness about how we show up in sacred spaces.
By focusing on compassion over conformity, we make room for everyone—regardless of how they look.
The Heart of Worship Is Not What We Wear
In the end, church isn’t about clothes, piercings, or tattoos. It’s about connection—between people, and with God.
Jesus spent time with those the world cast aside. He didn’t look at clothing or outward appearances. He saw the heart.
And maybe that’s the lesson I needed.
Whether someone walks through the doors in ripped jeans or their Sunday best, what truly matters is the sincerity of their faith—their longing to be part of something greater.
So let’s open the doors wide. Let’s welcome people as they are—stories, struggles, piercings, and all.
Because the only thing we should be wearing in church… is love.
