By Cluck Norris, Fowl News Correspondent
In a surprise press conference held this morning outside a KFC (awkward), the chicken who allegedly crossed the road finally came forward to explain her actions — and stunned reporters with the truth.
“I just wanted to see if the grass really was greener on the other side,” said Henrietta, a 3-year-old Rhode Island Red. “Turns out, it’s not. Just more pavement. And one very angry goose.”
The chicken’s infamous road-crossing has puzzled philosophers, comedians, and elementary school kids for decades. Scholars debated everything from existential motives to poultry protest. But Henrietta insists her decision was simple.
“I saw a worm. That’s it. A really fat, juicy one. Next thing I know, I’m a meme.”
Witnesses say Henrietta caused a minor traffic jam and a spiritual crisis for one driver, who reportedly asked, “What am I doing with my life?” while waiting for her to finish crossing.
Social media erupted after the press conference. The hashtag #WhyDidTheChickenCross trended globally, with people sharing their own reasons for metaphorical road-crossings:
- “To avoid her ex-rooster.”
- “To get to therapy.”
- “Because GPS said ‘Turn right in 10 meters.’”
Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists online are not satisfied. One popular TikTok claims the chicken was part of a government experiment on free-range intelligence, while another swears Henrietta is actually a duck in disguise.
When asked if she’d cross again, Henrietta clucked thoughtfully.
“Only if the worm’s worth it. Or if someone drops fries on the other side.”
