1. Capitalism Starter Pack
“Dream big,” they said.
Now I dream of health insurance and a nap.
My boss made $4 million last year.
I got a pizza party and burnout.
2. Gen Z Therapy
Me: cries in emoji
Therapist: “Have you tried touching grass?”
Me: 🌱
Therapist: “Not texting it. Actually go outside.”
3. Modern Dating Be Like
He ghosted me but still watches my stories.
It’s not love—it’s audience retention.
We’re not dating,
We’re running a passive-aggressive reality show.
4. Billionaire Space Race
Earth is on fire.
Billionaires: “Let’s go to Mars.”
Me: Can we fix rent first?
Them: “No, but we added cup holders to the rocket.”
5. Influencer Apocalypse
The world ends.
TikTokers livestream it.
#SponsoredByRaidShadowLegends
Even the meteor has a brand deal.
6. Productivity Culture
Sick? Still work.
Tired? Still work.
Dead? Send an email before you go.
Rest is for the unemployed.
7. AI Future
AI can paint, write, compose.
Meanwhile, I can’t answer emails before 3 p.m.
The robots are learning.
I’m just buffering.
8. Childhood vs. Now
Childhood: “Don’t talk to strangers on the internet!”
Adulthood: “Hi, here’s my trauma. Like, comment, subscribe.”
Now strangers know me better than my family.
9. Friendship in 2025
Haven’t seen my best friend in months.
But we send each other memes at 2 a.m.
This is love.
Modern, silent, Wi-Fi love.
10. “Dream Job”
They said, “Do what you love.”
Now I write emails at midnight…
To prove I’m passionate.
About spreadsheets. And unpaid overtime.
